Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Quirky is best

Definition of QUIRK ( noun \ˈkwərk\)

1: an abrupt twist or curve b : a peculiar trait : idiosyncrasy c : accident, vagary <a quirk of fate>
2: a groove separating a bead or other molding from adjoining members
quirk·i·ly adverb
quirk·i·ness noun
quirk·ish adjective
quirky adjective
 That is my immediate family of my two sons and one daughter.  Here is a feature that each child of mine of a catch phrase they applying to themselves.
1. Ryan AKA SON - he is a diva in men's clothes
2. Daelyn AKA THE GIRL - she is sexy and she knows (Thank you LMAFO)
3. Lucas AKA CHILD - I got this is what he does
I can on about what each I think a visual of them saying it and looking at their picture it says enough.
My eldest 



Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Only Tags with Red

I am going to share a story of when I went to the store with my then 5 year old son Ryan and 3 year old daughter Daelyn. I am a frugal individual with coupons in my bag and car just in case if something happens it is readily available in addition to my coupon caddy.

As I went to the store one day, my son saw a shirt he liked and asked if he can get it and I said no. He asks why not and I took the take and showed the difference between a sale item and a full price item.  I showed him that one label with no marks or stickers means it is too much money but if a tag has a red line or stickers on it it can be considered.  As we were walking through the mall pointing out to both children to show them what is signs of a sale.

One day my sister took my children out and though she is frugal, if my kids wanted she would get it for them. My son saw this toy and my sister saw his eye on it. She asked if he wanted it and my son says no Aunt Virginia, it does not have sticker or a line through it. My sister asked him what does that mean he explained if it has no sticker or red line he can't have it. Lets just say my sister along with the few people around her at the time and reprimanded me when I got home asking what kind of crazy mother would teach their kids that.

Well guess what, I have three kids and when ask to buy something with their money they ask for me for the coupons and use them. I guess something good came from it.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Lessons Learned Leads to It Is What It Is

In life there are many lessons to be learned, good and bad. The bad is the lesson that we learn quickly so we do not repeat.

There have been so many I have learned to to list them all I would need a glass of wine, old 80s music and just mediate and let it flow.  As convuluted this and I apologize on it this is the thing that also can bring up the bad memories of lesson learned that we tried very hard to forget. It goes to being it is what it is and cannot go back to change it only grow.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Oh Could You Be Mine Or Won't you Be My Sister

Once in a while we all wish we were related to someone rich and famous hoping that we can be part of the awards show.  The lights, excitement and interaction with other famous people especially those we have had growing up and seeing them as a person.  Then when meeting them, will I be disappointed when the image in my

The one person if I did want a famous relative would not be on Top A-lister and the reason is support goes a long way.  I love to hang out with Joan Cusack she is one quirk woman and sometimes I think she is like the Kevin Bacon of female movies.  Joan is sweet and can always make you laugh.  She has that way that people love to be around her.

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Thursday, February 23, 2012

A Problem is only as big as you want it to be

When I first got married a problem which I took to heart was getting along with my extended family and being accepted.  As the years progressed still feeling like an outcast when general conversation about asking the kids or how is work it was ignored.  Yet the other family members who arrived after me seemed to be welcome with open arms and treated with respect.

Over the years I realized the only person getting sick was me and the rest of the family were going on with their merry ways.  Over the course of time and the support of a therapist I no longer am looking for approval.  If they choose to behave that way toward me it is their decision and should not have to try so hard.   Respect is earned not brought or adapting to what they want you to be.

In life, no matter what though can be hard always be yourself it isn't worth hours of therapy to understand that only you make the problem bigger than it has to be.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Odd Couple

To live with someone for one year only, the first instinct would to be with someone you are close with since you do not want to get in any fights.

For me, I go with my sister because as different as we are like oil and water, this would be a good experience to learn how to grow. It gives you the opportunity to work on issues that may have been held back. As you work it out, inside you become stronger and the find reasons of things you have in common.

I know with sister, with her being younger and the baby she had more opportunities to be the person she is.  I know from her I learn strength and how to position myself to be respected beyond someone's mom.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012


Truly my heart is open to the children that I didn't think I would have. I may not be the best of parents and they are living the life as I once did. 

My hearts is heavy when I disappoint them and even more as I disappoint myself. When I love and who I love it is passionate and protective as the lioness to her cubs. 

Monday, February 20, 2012

What A Family IS - Simple

To make it simple from my own view is that happy families represent a common thought in which one accepts each other for who they are and the ability to respect each other.

For unhappy families many reasons can lead to why the unhappiness occurs. Unhappiness can stem from loneliness, drugs, drinking or even just running way to not be known for who the family represents. 

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Respect..All I need

"Treat your family like friends and your friends like family."

It all comes down to RESPECT. Respect is how to develop the relations you want.  If you want to keep your family close allow them to see the inner you and become friends on both sides. You don't have to share EVERYTHING  but opening up shows that you want them in your life and be aware of the everyday that goes on. What happens and it does that your friend is not happy that uncomfortable conversation and look of surprise when you either drop a bomb or great news doesn't hurt them because they didn't know.

My friends are my family only those are close. To have my friends as family comes down again to RESPECT.  No one has to be like but the person needs to be respected as a individual.  

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

It is What It Is

Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The great Dr. Joyce Brothers said, "When you look at your life, the greatest happiness are family happiness".  I don't know how true it can be or maybe rather take it for what it is. The grief that one received from one family can lead success for an individual. 

This will be a convoluted but as I began to write I got more confused and like to end it saying "It Is What It Is"

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Love - 30 Years and Still No Idea

Love is funny and I look at love in different ways.  To say I love my parents and my sister and my family it is a given though there are some who don't feel that way.

As for me, I like to speak of love on Valentine's day for something being passionate and true.  

For today, I am taking the fifth on my post.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Blood Transfusion?????

The code in all families when things are down or go bad is that "Blood is Thicker Than Water".  It is not always the case for everyone.    Depending on the family and the relationships created within, some may want a transfusion for better blood that is thick enough to help them out.  

To each its own in how thick the blood is and should not be guilted in believing it is should be followed verbatim.  Not all blood is good due that some can be tainted and cause more damage than good. 

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The Decision is your

Fate is funny
Fate is cruel
Fate is kind
It is up to you to decide which way it affects you

Family is not a choice a young child decides to where they belong. It is unfortunate that families are not like the Cosby Show or the Brady Bunch then the world would be easy.  That is the one reason that TV continues to tease in making us believe our relationships will follow.

No, it isn't in reality the families are difficult, not as difficult as we see on the Maury Povich show but maybe something in the middle.  Because families are convoluted so having friends to support us when things are difficult and need a shoulder to cry on.  

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

My other sister

My other sister owns the other piece of my heart and like those charms that have a broken heart. When I met my sister she literally hated my guts and wanted to kick my ass.  

The wuss I was put two and two together when I saw her staring at a guy I knew. The only logical way to resolve my backside from being kicked was to find a way to introduce them.  Though many years the relationship didn't go long nor have they seen each other she still stayed my friend.

She puts up the tough mean front but inside she is gooey like peanut butter and jelly on toast.  She is protective and supportive. As though we don't want to hear the truth, coming from her it hurts but it goes away for it was not for selfish reason.

The proudest moments to date I recently shared was her daughters wedding and the honor of being one of the Mistress of Ceremonies. I helped with the favors, setting up the tables and distributing the programs. It was a beautiful day.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012 it wrong not to

I wish this could be a well though out and coherent post but unfortunately it is one that I don't have.  

Monday, February 6, 2012

Granny and Gramps

Nonna and Nonno 

My grandparents from my mothers's side was a very simple relationship. There was the language barrier in my sibling and I's were not fluent in Italian.  My grandparents lived downstairs from us and the conversation were simple conversations. If we were not able to understand, my mom was there to translate for us. Our grandparents didn't speak it was more the conversation was based mostly by feeding us.

My dad's parents to this day never met nor was many stories shared from my dad about them. Though we asked questions, still it was nothing that I can remember to share.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Not the Perfect Bunch

Sibling Rivalry is the common answer on why you don't get along with your brother or sister and then eventually we grow from it.

As for mine own, it is true with my sister who is the baby of the family and grandmas's favorite. She knew her tool and how to manipulate to get what she needs. Due to her supreme intelligence and having me do her dirty work she was the baby.    My sister and I shared a room so we had fights about the television, clothes and borrowing my car.  She never asked me and always told my parents that she did ask me. We got to the point where physical violence began.  She made her goal to move out by she was 21 and did 3 months prior to her birthday.  

Today she is a successful manager of a Home Depot store with no debt and in the process of looking to purchase at her own home. I will not lie but yes I am feeling the rivalry, but more in the fact why did I not have the determination and individualism she carries.

I also have two brothers which unfortunately I do not speak to or have spoken to in the past 16 years. I have seen them in passing but they have been cut off from the family. Other than bad things one of my brothers did that I prefer not to speak of.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Dear Old Dad

My dad is the true Gemini with the different personalities. He is the understanding man with the only expectation he asks is being respected. Whatever conflict of opinion and how passionate he is for it, be respectful.

As being respected, he does not like to be wrong and if he feels threatened he will go for the jugular.   He is an old school Italian brought up with even more traditional values with seeing things as black and white.  

As the time came and grandchildren came along, the man came to the realization that what he did with his older children and how they ran away, his grandchildren have the opposite relationship.

He is an old man who has come to grips of the things he make mistakes on in relationships but is not to proud to fix the errors of his past and not have a relationship with his grandchildren.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Mia Madre

Mia madre il mio cuore uno che fa me una persona migliore

My mom is a saint who though may think is quiet and meek in turn she is intelligent and strong. Yes, my mother does not like to make a mountain from a mole hill.  

My mom came to America as an adult with her two younger siblings and my grandparents she turned into the mother for my aunt and uncle for upon their arrival they were very young.  My aunt & uncle where the first set of kids she raised. Though my grandmother raised all her kids, due that she did not speak English my mom helped out until she got married and had her first kid.

She is an adoring and caring grandmother that listens and offer advice without making it sound like do or die.